So, today in art (Flash back)...Student: You are the best art teacher every. Me: Thanks. Student: For real. You are really good. Even better than God. Me: Oh no....no, no, no...no no no no! Not better than God!! You're not getting me struck by lighting. Student: Oh yeah, right. Batman...your better than Batman. Me: I will accept that.

So, today in art (Flash back)...Me:  Everyone in this line stop moving.  Where are these crayons coming from?  (Someone has taken a box of crayons, I can hear them dropping on the floor, and I am now following the trail of crayons to the guilty student.)  Me:  Do you have some of my crayons?  Student:  No.  Me:  Umm...They are falling out of the hole in your pocket...right now...while we are speaking.  Student:  I don't know where these crayons came from.  Me:  Maybe your mother does.  Let's go call her.

So, today in art (Flash back)...While eating lunch with a student the principal approached us and asked the student "Why are you eating apple sauce with your hand?"  Student: Duh...cause I don't have a spoon.  Even though I appear to have a straight face I am laughing so hard on the inside.

So, today in art (Flash back)...Parent:  Mr. Smith.  Can you tell me why my child got a D in language arts.  Me:  No.  Parent:  Why not?!?!?!?  Me:  Well, #1... I can only give a M, S, N, or a U.  #2...I teach the visual arts, not the language arts.  Parent:  What's the difference.  Me:  Umm......the visual arts are drawing, painting, sculpture, etc...  The language arts are vocabulary, grammar, punctuation, etc..  Parent:  So...you can't tell my why she got a D in language arts?  Me: No.