So, the other night while Tanya Arrington and I were shopping...Are you Mr. Smith? My daughter loves you. Are you Mr. Smith? My son loves you! Are you Mr. Smith? My cousin loves you. Are you Mr. Smith? My nephew loves you. Are you Mr. Smith? My neighbor's best friend's son's cousin's sister's dog walker's lawyer's aunt's favorite niece loves you.

So, today in art….Student:  Mr. Smith, what do you think of my self-portrait?  Me:  Why are your lips so big?  It looks like a racist cartoon.

So, today in art….Student 1:  Do you remember MySpace?  Student 2:  OMG!  That was the stuff.  When I was 4 MySpace was the thing.

So, today in art….Me:  What are you gonna do with all those sporks?  Student:  I’m gonna use all these sporks to make a Nicki Minaji outfit.  Me:  Dude, you have like 1200 sporks.  You can make shoes too.

So, today in art….Student:  Thank you Mr. Smith for teaching me that mines is a word.  Me:  You’re welcome.

So, today in art….Student:  Mr. Smith, did you know it was my birthday tomorrow?  Me:  Yes…I am lighting an imaginary candle in my head right now.

So, today in art…Me:  That’s not how that works!

So, today in art…Me:  Why are you using your finger when there are 20 brushes on your table?!?!?  You know what?!?!!?  Never mind…Full Moon!

So, today in art….Student:  Can you help me warm up my pizza?  Me:  Yeah, did you need a plate.  Student:  No, we can put it in with this aluminum foil.  Me:  Oh no…no,no,no!  Student:  Why not?  Me:  Microwave go boom!!!

So, today in art (well, lunch duty)...Student 1: Sit here. Student 2: No, sit here. Student 3: No, sit here. Student 4: No, sit here.

So, today in art...Kisha James: Look at me. I am dancing. Students: What are you doing Mrs. James. James: I am trying to get on So, today in art!!!!

So, today in art...Student:  My new name is Jimmy. (5 mins. later)   My name is Javier. (Mind you, neither of these are his name.)

So, today in art...Student:  Mr. Smith, I know some bad words.  Me:  What bad words do you know?  Student:  Damn it!  Me:  Whoa!  Don’t say that.  You will get in trouble.  Student:  Okay.  Me:  What was that again?  Student:  Damn it.  Me:  Didn’t I tell you not to say that anymore.  That was a test.

So, today in art....FULL MOON!!!!

So, today in art (while playing Mariah Carey Christmas)…Student:  Singing (All I want for Christmas is youuuuu…..youuuuu!)   Me:  Mariah Carey, more like Mariah Scary.   You guys are killing this song.  Student:  Bhahhahahahahhahahaha…lol.   I see what you did there Mr. Smith.  You’re funny.

So, today in art...Student 1:  Miss Smith?  Student 2:  Its Mr. Smith.  If it was Miss Smith he would look like a woman.  Student 1:  Well, he is pretty.  Student 2:  No he is handsome...right Mr. Smith?  Me: I've been called worse, so pretty is okay

So, today in art…Student 1:  Mr. Smith said share.  Student 2: Yeah, listen to the man.

So, today in art (well, last night at Food Lion) Young gentleman:  Are you Mr. Smith?  Me:  Yes sir I am.  Young:  You probably don't remember me, I graduated in 2008 but you were my art teacher at M.H. elementary.  Me:  Cool.  Him:  I remember we had to draw our self-portraits and I put a mustache and goatee on mine.  And you said "Do you have a goatee or a mustache....then erase that.  Both of us:  Bhahahahahha.  Him:  You were a good teacher.  Me:  From what I hear, I still am.

So, today in art (well car duty)....Student's mom:  I love you.  Have a good day.  Me:  I love you too.  Both of us:  Bhahahahahahaha.   Student's mom:  I do love you Mr. Smith for taking care of my child.

So, today in art...Student: Mr. Smith...your shoes are funny.  

Me:  Dude, my shoes are funny?!?!?!  Your shoes are on the wrong feet!

So, today in art...Student:  Mr. Smith?  Give me a hug.  Me:  Ok.  Student:  Mr. Smith...don't mess up my pretty hair.  Me:  My bad!

New artwork at Chop Stixx.  Make sure you stop by and let them know how much you love the kids' artwork.

So, the other day in art....Student 1:  Do you go to church?  Student 2:  No.  Student 1:  Why not?  Student 2:  My parents really don't go.  Student 1:  Are you a Jew!!!!  Me:  Hold up.  #1.  It is not any of your business if she goes to church.  #2 I don't like the way said Jew...it was kind of Hitlerish.  And #C Why do you think Jewish people do not go to church.  Student 1:  I don't know.  Me:  Well, Jews go to church.  It is called a synagogue.  Student 1:  Well I don't know anything about the Jews.  Me:  Yes you do.  Almost everyone in the Bible is Jewish.  Student 1:  No.  Me:  Yes.  Abraham, Sarah, Samuel, David of David and Goliath....all Jews.  Student 1:  No.  Me:  Yes.  Jesus.  Student 1: No.  Me:  Yes.  All 12 disciples.  Student 1:  I get it...I get.  Me:  You should definitely should talk to your parents about this when you get home.

So, today in art....Student:  Mr. Smith?  When I was a baby (mind you he is in kindergarten) I was in the army and I had a knife and I cut off the bad man's leg and stuck it in him.  It was funny.

  

                                   Side Note:  Please monitor what your kids are watching!

So, today in art...Me:  What is it with 9 year old boys and farts?!?!?!?!?!?!

So, today in art (after reading about Mary Shelly)  Me:  What kind of monster would you make if you could?  A Fart monster.  No....A fart ghost.  That way he can go around farting and no one would no who it was.  All they would hear was farts and laughing.  

So, today in art....Me:  If you could make a restaurant what would you name it and what would you sale?   Student:  Fart Tarts!  I would have a bunch of toasters and when your pop tart was done instead of a buzzing sound it would be a farting sound.  Me:  That idea stinks...literally.  Student:  It would not stink...it would just be the sounds, not the smells.

So, today in art....Student:  Mr. Smith? I got some balls in my pocket. Would you like to see them?  Me:  No!

So, today in art...The students are studying the history and traditions of Hanukkuh.
The 2nd graders used symmetry to create menorahs.

The Kindergartners learned and created a dreidel.

So, today in art…Student:  My mom will not let me use scissors at home.  Me:  Why?  Student:  Cause the last time I got mad at my shirting I cut hole in her shirt,  when I got mad at my mom I cut holes in her mattress, and when I got mad at my dad I cut a piece of my hair off, gave it to my him, and told him “See what you made me do?”   Me:  Bhahahhahahahahahahaahah…..heheheheheheheheh….ehehhheheheh.   he…he…he…haahhahahahahah…he..he..heeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

So, today in art…Student:  Mr. Smith?  My aunt calls me junk in the trunk and so I called her baldy….cause she worries so much she is going bald.   Me:  What?!?!?!!?  That’s mean…funny, but mean.

So, today in art…Me:  How did you get glitter all over yourself, but have not made it to the glitter table yet?  (And yes, I have a glitter table.)

So, today in art…Me:  Get our hands out of the paint.  You guys act as if you have never seen paint before yah hillbillies.

So, today in art…Student 1:  Mr. Smith….you’re an artist.  Student 2: Duh!!!!  Students 3-24:  Yeah Duhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey guys. Check out my student's art work on display at ChopStixx. And thank you to the management that let me display their artwork. When you go by tell them you love the work and can not wait to see more.

That's right!!!  I am the best are teacher!!!

So, today in art...Me: Today boys and girls we are going to make cards for veterans. Veterans are people who served our country in some part of the military. Army, Marines, Navy, etc.. Student: Mr. Smith, I like America! America and sharks!

So, today in art...Me: Was that your dad that dropped you off this morning. Student: Ummmmm....hmmmmm....maybe?

So today: Me: Hey student 1, why are alligators so mean. Student 1: Because of their enlarge medulla oblongatas. Me: No, because they have all those teeth and no toothbrush. Both of us: Bhahahahahhaha ah ah ha ah ah ha ha ...lol..lol....whoa! The others just sat and stared at us.

So the other day in art (well in reading group) Me: ...and the medulla oblongata is attached to the spinal cord. Student 1: Bhahahahahhahahahha...he he hehe ha HA! Me: what is so funny? Student 1: Have you ever seen Waterboy? Me: Bahhahahahhahahhaha hehehehehehhehehe..eh..eh he. The other 4 just stared at us.

So, today in art….Student 1:  You’re mean.  Student 2:  So, what if I am.  Me:  You’re not mean.  You’re a sweet young man.  Student 2:  I am sweet and sour…like that chicken they serve every Wednesday. 

So, today in art….Student:  Is this dark white?

So, today in art….Student 1:  Mr. Smith, he is under the table!  Me:  What did I tell you about being under the table!!?  Student 2:  Not to go under the tables.  Me:  Then get from under the table...hold up.  While your down there pick up all those crayons, pencils, markers, and trash. 

So, the other day in art…  Me:  How many times a day do I tell you guys not to lean back in your chairs? Students:  Mr. Smith, you like say that like 8,000 times a day.  Me:  I know, right!

So, the other day in art…(Loud crashing noises) Me:  Are you ok?  Student:  Yes.  Me:  Are you sure?  Student: Yes.  Me:  Do I need to call a doctor….the paramedics…..a priest?  Student:  Noooooo…I am fine.  Me:  O k.  Just checking.  So boys and girls, what did we just learn.  Whole class in unison: Don’t lean back in your chairs!!!!

So, today in art...Student:  Mr. Smith.  I miss my mommy.  Me:  It’s ok.  Student:  But I really miss her (sobbing).  Me:  Want some cheese nips?  Student:  Yay!  Cheese Nips.  I got the eye of the tiger, the fighter, dancing through the fire (and the rest of the class joins in) I am the champion and you’re gonna hear me roar.

So, today in art...Student:  Mr. Smith do you like my haircut.  Me:  Yes I do.  Student:  Scotty cut it for me.  Me:  Scotty who?  Student:  Scotty McCreery!  Me:  Scotty McCreery cut your hair.  Student:  No.

So, today n art....Student:  I am finished.  Me:  Read it.  Student:  What? Me:  Read it to me.  Student:  Ummmm...I can't.  Me:  Why not?  Student:  I don't know.  Me:  Well if you wrote it and can’t read it, then how I'm I suppose to read or grade it.  Student:  I don't know.  Well let me help you.  Here is a new sheet of writing paper.  Student:  Aw man!

So, today in art...Student:  Mr. Smith?  Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good.....Me:  Little girl, turn around and do your work.

Now Shannon Wiggs Beamon may remember this one. So couple of years ago in art (Stantonsburg Edition)....Student: Mr. Smith Me: Yes. Student: I think I poohed my pants? Me: You think you poohed your pants? After further investigation Student: I poohed my pants!

So, today in art...Student: Why does he get to sit on the table. Me: Cause he's my best friend. Student: Can I sit on the ta Me: No!

So the other day in art...Student: Mr. Smith, my art is worthless!!! Me: What?!?!?! Student: It's worthless...you know. Its worth so much there is not enough money in the world to buy it like the Mona Lisa. Me: Oh...lol. Baby girl, you mean priceless. Student: Oh yeah, priceless!

So the other day in art...Student: Do you like Blue's Clues? Me: I love Blue's Clues! Student: What was your favorite part of the Blue's Clues Movie? Me: Hmmm...ummm.....when Blue finds all those clues. Student: Mine too!

So the other day in art...Student: Mr. Smith, we have already did the rectangle. Why are we doing it again? Me: Well...this is what we call a review which we clearly need since this is a triangle."

So the other day in art: Me: Hello boys and girls. My dear little Kindergarten students: Hello biscuit. Me: O K.....lol. I love you guys! Students: We love you too biscuit.

So, today in art...Student 1: Mr. Smith. You're awesome! Me: Thanks, you're awesome too. Student 2: You awesomer Mr. Smith. Student 1: Stop coping me! Student 2: I said er...er!!!!

So, today in art...We did not paint!!!

So, today in art has to give its “Doing it Up Award” to Christy M. because she Did It Up this week!!!  She is one of those classroom teachers who integrates art into her curriculum.  When you leave her classroom, you leave a well-rounded individual.  Here are some of the turkey projects that her students and their family’s create.

So, today in art (Full Moon Edition)...Me: Why did I not remember to stop painting this week....uggggghhhhhh!!!!!!

So, today in art...Teacher:  Why is her pilgrim not attached to her Mayflower?  Me:  I don't know.  We glued it down earlier.  It is a pilgrim woman...maybe she decided to jump ship!

So, today in art....Student:  Where is my pilgrim.  Me:  It’s right in front of you.  Student:  Oh....hahahhahah.  Don't you go anywhere Mr. Pilgrim.  You better not go anywhere or I'm gonna get you.

This week 3rd grade is working on Color Theory.  They are making color wheels.  Primary and Secondary colors this week.  Intermediate colors next week.  Pray for me!!!!!!!

So, today in art...Survived a full moon week without any fatalities.  Yes!!!  What?!?!?!  Still got 2 more day!  Oh man!!!! 

So, today in art...Me:  Note to self, no painting during a full moon week.

So, today in art (Full Moon Edition)...Me:  I am never ever, ever painting with you guys again!!!!  Students:  Come on Mr. Smith.  We are sorry.  Me:  No!  Students:  Please!!! Me (to the tune of Taylor Swift's Song): I'm never ever, ever, painting with you guys, whatever.  (We probably will, but don't tell them.)

So, today in art (Full Moon Edition)...Me:  Boys and girls if you say my name one more time...I am serious…..Oh, now you got jokes!  That's it!  I am changing my name.  My new name is Mr. Its Ok I Figured It Out on My Own.

So, today in art (Full Moon Edition)....Me:  For real, for real boys and girls...for real!   For real, for real. I'm Done!

People who think it is ludicrous that a Full Moon can affect your mood has never worked with kids because my classes this week have been off the chain.   The gravitational pull of the moon affects the oceans tides.  Adult humans are about 60% water and children are around 75%, and the brain is about 73% water.  If you still doubt my word here is what happened in art today.

So the other day in art...Student: Mr. Smith, my art is worthless!!! Me: What?!?!?! Student: It's worthless...you know. Its worth so much there is not enough money in the world to buy it like the Mona Lisa. Me: Oh...lol. Baby girl, you mean priceless. Student: Oh yeah, priceless!

So the other day in art...Student: Do you like Blue's Clues? Me: I love Blue's Clues! Student: What was your favorite part of the Blue's Clues Movie? Me: Hmmm...ummm.....when Blue finds all those clues. Student: Mine too!

So the other day in art...Student: Mr. Smith, we have already did the rectangle. Why are we doing it again? Me: Well...this is what we call a review which we clearly need since this is a triangle."

So the other day in art: Me: Hello boys and girls. My dear little Kindergarten students: Hello biscuit. Me: O K.....lol. I love you guys! Students: We love you too biscuit.

So today in art…With much help of our media specialist our 4^th grade students are using a class set of I pads to find information and pictures of the an endangered animal to create a poster for an Endangered Species Contest sponsored by the NC Zoo.

  I am proud to teach such awesome artist.

So, the other day in art...Student 1: Mr. Smith is he your son. Me: Ummmm....let me ask him. Am I your dad? Student 2: Do you love me? Me: With all my heart. Student 2: Then yes, you are my dad. Me: Yes, I am his dad. Student 1: I thought so.

So, today in art class: Student: Mr. Smith. What do you do when you have no students? Me: I go home. Student: No...I mean when you have a break during the day and you have no classes. Me: Oh, that's my planning time. I plan all the wonderful activities we do in art. Student: I don't believe you Mr. Smith. Me: Oh you don't. Then what do you think I do during that time? Student: Play music, dance, sing, and color.

So...today in art: Student: Mr. Smith. Can I stay with you the rest of the day? Me: No. Student: Please...can you come get me out of class and I stay with you all day. Me: I don't think that is how school works. Don't you have to learn stuff? Student: Yeah, but being with you all day would be cool. Me: I don't think your teacher will let that happen. Student: Well Mr. Smith...I need for you to check on that for me. Me: Seriously! Student: Seriously. Me: Ok. I will get back to you on that.

So, the other day in art....Me: What are you guys doing at the trash can. Students: There is a vampire in the trash can. Me: What?!?!?!? Students: There....is....a....vampire....in.....the....trash....can!!!! Me: What?!?!!? Let me check. Oh!

So, today in art....Student 1:  Mr. Smith?  I know everything about everything.  Me:  You do?  Student 2:  Like what?  Student 1:  I don't know.

So, today in art:  Student 1:  Mr. Smith, he is eating glitter off the floor.  Me:  Maybe he is hungry.  But for real, don't eat anything off this floor.  It’s dirty.

So....later on today in art: Me: If you don't quit poking me little girl I am taking you to the office, tell your principal, and call your mother. Little girl: Snitch.

So, today in art class: Student: Mr. Smith. What do you do when you have no students? Me: I go home. Student: No...I mean when you have a break during the day and you have no classes. Me: Oh, that's my planning time. I plan all the wonderful activities we do in art. Student: I don't believe you Mr. Smith. Me: Oh you don't. Then what do you think I do during that time? Student: Play music, dance, sing, and color.

So...today in art: Student: Mr. Smith. Can I stay with you the rest of the day? Me: No. Student: Please...can you come get me out of class and I stay with you all day. Me: I don't think that is how school works. Don't you have to learn stuff? Student: Yeah, but being with you all day would be cool. Me: I don't think your teacher will let that happen. Student: Well Mr. Smith...I need for you to check on that for me. Me: Seriously! Student: Seriously. Me: Ok. I will get back to you on that.

So, today in day in art....Students: ooooohhhhh, Mr. Smith. You colored outside the lines. Me: Its o k boys and girls, we all make mistakes. No big! Students: That's right Mr. Smith...no pig. Yeah, no pig, no pig. Me: Yes boys and girls...no pig.

Today in art....Kid: Mr. Smith, do I look like a super hero. Me: Why yes, you do. Kid: People have been telling me that all day. Me: Maybe it’s the cape. Kid: Hmmmmmm....maybe.