So, today in art...Me: Let me go. I have other classes I have to teach. Students: No!!!!! You can't go. We are gonna keep you for every and every and every and every. (Mind you I have one kid on one leg, two kids on the other leg, 3 kids hugging my waist, and a kid on each arm. Do you know how hard it is to keep my balance. I'm about to fall and crush some kids. I love my job!!!)

So, today in art...Me: Keep your hands to yourself. You know what...keep every thing to yourself. Keep your whole body to yourself.

So, today in art...Student: I need some tissue. Me: Let me see...I don't see anything. Student: Its there, you just can't see it cause it's so far up my nose. Me: Well, when it makes the journey down...come see me.

So, today in art...Me:  That is an r.  Student:  Sometimes I write my n's like r's.  Me:  That would make it an r.

So, today in art...Me: My 4th graders painting and singing. I love my job!!!  They are painting their lighthouses. They had to research a NC Lighthouses and write a short short essay about the lighthouse they chose.

So, today in art...Me: So...I don't know what is going on in Orso's class. We go from one extreme to the other!!!

So, today in art...Student: How many hands do we need? Me: A lot!!!! Student: A lot, a lot. Me: No...a lot, a lot, a lot. Like a billion. 

So, today in art...Me: The 1st graders also made Menorahs.

So, today in art...Me: Do you know how hard it is to do this with 1st graders?!?!?!? But we did it and got it done. We made our Star of David with pyramids.

So, today in art...Student: You have glitter on your face. Me: I teach art. Welcome to my life.

So, today in art...Sub (retired teacher):  Boys and girls, do you remember your art teacher from last year?  Students:  Yes.  Sub:  I do to and you'll did not do work like this.  You guys are very lucky to have Mr. Smith.  Students:  We know.  And he is cool too.

So, today in art...Sub (retired teacher):  You are one of the best art teachers I have ever seen.  And that is saying a lot because I am old.

So, today in art...Student:  Can I have a hug?  Me: Yes.  Have you been good?  Student 1:  Yes.  Me:  Good job.  Student 2:  Can I have a hug?  Me:  Yes.  Have you been good?  Student 2:  Ummmm...nope.  Mrs. Orso:  Well, at least he is honest.

So, today in art...Student 1: Mr. Smith...Its the Sun!! I'm playing with the Sun!!!! Student 2: Is that really the Sun? Me: Yes. Student 2: How did you get it in here? Me: How many time do I have to tell you people..........I'm magic! Student 2: Oh yeah.

So, today in art...Student: Ummm....Mr. Smith? My leg is stuck. Me: Wait, what? How? Let me get my camera.

So, today in art...Me: The students studied Leonardo da Vinci and reinterpreted the Mona Lisa. 

So, today in art...Me: The students studied Edvard Munch and reinterpreted The Scream. 

So, today in art....Parent: Are you Mr. Smith? Me: Yes ma'am I am. Parent: I would just like to thank you for all you do, the great lessons and helping my child to love art. She has just come out of her shell this year and its because of you. Me: Thank you. I really appreciate that. (I wonder if she noticed I was about to cry).

So, today in art...Student: So...whatcha doing? Me: Minding my business. What are you doing? Student: Ummmmmhhh.....nothing.

So, today in art...Me: Here a some of my fav students supporting No Shave November or Movember...lol. Love these kids!!!! 

So, today in art...Me: Ummm sir, you may have more luck getting that shoe on if you untie it. Just saying...I mean...you have been trying for 10 minutes.

So, today in art...Student (poking me from behind):  Mr. Smith...Mr. Smith!!!!  Me:  Ummmm....don't I look busy.  Do you see me wiping this kids nose.  Student:  Yes.  Me:  Then let me finish and I will be right with you.  Blow...blow....blow....blow.  Now get some hand sanitizer.  

So, today in art...Grandma: I gave my grandson an early Christmas present. It is a Spiderman mohawk toboggan and he said he was not going to wear it. He was afraid that people will pick on him. And then we drove up and saw you. He said "Never mind." So thank you. Me: Thanks?!?!?!?

                                                   So, today in art...Student:  I can't fit in this boat.

So, today in art...Me:  Almost lost a finger.  That was close.

So, today in art...Me:  Stay in that chair and do not leave it unless I ask you too.  5 mins. later.  Me:  Just because I said not to leave the chair does not mean you take it with you were every you go.  

So, today in art...Me:  Sir?  Did you not just fall out of that chair about 5 minutes ago.  Student:  Yes.  Me:  Then please keep all of those chair legs on the floor.

So, today in art...Me:  Ummmm...sir, what happened to your Native American.  He looks like he has been through a lot.

So, today in art...Student 1:  I like white paint.  Student 2:  Me too.  It's like milk but like thicker.  Student 3:  No..its like white chocolate that we melted.  Student 2:  No...it's like marshmallows that got hot and melted.  All:  Yeah hot marshmallows!!!

So, today in art...Student:  Were do I put this trash.  Me:  Ummmhh....I don't know.  In the trash can maybe.

So, today in art...Safety Patrol:  NO hats in the building Mr. Smith!!!  Me:  #1.  Take some of that bass out your voice.  #2.  I am  grown.  I will wear two hats if I want to.

So, today in art (Art Test Edition)...Me:  I'm done.

So, today in art (Art Test Edition)...Me:  Hot Red...what is hot red?!?!

So, today in art....Student: Where did you get that beard from? Me: Target. Student: Then take if off. Me: No. To many snaps and buttons. And then the velcro.

So, today in art (Art Test Edition)...Me: T or F.  True or False.  I....I'm done.

So, today in art (Art Test Edition)....Me:  I was looking for words.

So, today in art...Student: Why does your voice sound like that? Me: Like what? Student: Like that? Me: Like what? Student: Like that. Me: Like what? Student: Uggghhhhh! Like you have a cold. Me: Oh...cause I have a cold.

So, today in art...Student: Are we coloring today? Me: No. Student: Oh no!!! Me: Yes we are. I fooled ya! Student: Yeah!!!

So, today in art...Student: These new erasers smell like bacon.

So, today in art...Student: So...we are out of school for Veterans Day? Me: Yes. Student: Why? Me: It's a holiday celebrating those who served in one of our military forces. Student: So we celebrate by staying home and doing nothing.

So, today in art (Yo Mama Jokes Edition)...Student: Yo mama is so dumb that when they had your family reunion she wanted to go to a Chinese Buffet instead of a lovely trip to the mountains .Me: Yo mama is so stupid that when she was planning her family reunion she asked me about having it on the sun. I told her it was to hot. She said they could go at night. Bhahahahahaha!!!! I will I stop winning?!?!?!?

So, today in art (Yo Mama Jokes Edition)...Student: Yo mama is so fat that she tried to wear the Green Lantern's ring but it kept coming off because she was to fat. Me: What?!?!? Anyway...yo mama is so short she can sit on the curb and swing her feet.

So, today in art (Yo Mama Jokes Edition)...Student: Yo mama is so fat that when she walks are booty goes up and down. Me: Yo mama got one leg longer than the other and they call her Ilean.

So, today in art (Yo Mama Jokes Edition)...Student: I got a new yo mama joke. Me: Tell me already!!! Student: No. Not in front of Mrs. Orso. Me: Why? Student: Cause she is an adult. Me: Hey!!!! I'm an adult!!! Student: You know what I mean. Me: Touche. Student: What?!?!? Me: Just tell me the joke.

So, today in art (Yo Mama Jokes Edition)...Student: Yo mama got a big head.  Me:  Yo mama has a wig with a chin strap.  Bhahahahhaha...I am killing you guys.  You should give up.  Student:  I will get you tomorrow Mr. Smith.

So, today in art (Yo Mama Jokes Edition)...Student: Yo mama is so fat that she went to the White House and she got tired. Me: Yo mama is so poor that when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe and asked her if she lost one she said "No, I found one."

So, today in art (Yo Mama Jokes Edition)...Student: Yo mama is so fat that she had to go to McDonald's to put the shake on it. Me: That does not even make sense. How about yo mama's car is so old that it has the holes in the floor where the Flintstone's use to stick their feet.

So, today in art (Yo Mama Jokes Edition)...Student: Yo mama is so fat that when she went to Sea World the other animals called her the Alpha because she was the biggest animal there. And the toughest. Me: I have to give you credit for using Alpha in your joke but not for that joke.

So, today in art (Yo Mama Jokes Edition)...Student: Yo mama is so fat that her foot is bigger than Big Foot's foot. Me: Yo mama is so fat she fell and broke her leg and gravy came out.

So, today in art (Yo Mama Jokes Edition)...Student 1:  He said my mama is so fat that she got in a tub with only a cup of water and it overflowed.  Me:  Well tell him his mama lips are so big she has to use a paint roller to put on lipstick.

So, today in art...Student:  I can beat box.  Me:  No you can't.  Student:  Yes I can.  Me:  Then show me.