So, the other night while Tanya Arrington and I were shopping...Are you Mr. Smith? My daughter loves you. Are you Mr. Smith? My son loves you! Are you Mr. Smith? My cousin loves you. Are you Mr. Smith? My nephew loves you. Are you Mr. Smith? My neighbor's best friend's son's cousin's sister's dog walker's lawyer's aunt's favorite niece loves you.

So, today in art….Student:  Mr. Smith, what do you think of my self-portrait?  Me:  Why are your lips so big?  It looks like a racist cartoon.

So, today in art….Student 1:  Do you remember MySpace?  Student 2:  OMG!  That was the stuff.  When I was 4 MySpace was the thing.

So, today in art….Me:  What are you gonna do with all those sporks?  Student:  I’m gonna use all these sporks to make a Nicki Minaji outfit.  Me:  Dude, you have like 1200 sporks.  You can make shoes too.

So, today in art….Student:  Thank you Mr. Smith for teaching me that mines is a word.  Me:  You’re welcome.

So, today in art….Student:  Mr. Smith, did you know it was my birthday tomorrow?  Me:  Yes…I am lighting an imaginary candle in my head right now.

So, today in art…Me:  That’s not how that works!

So, today in art…Me:  Why are you using your finger when there are 20 brushes on your table?!?!?  You know what?!?!!?  Never mind…Full Moon!

So, today in art….Student:  Can you help me warm up my pizza?  Me:  Yeah, did you need a plate.  Student:  No, we can put it in with this aluminum foil.  Me:  Oh no…no,no,no!  Student:  Why not?  Me:  Microwave go boom!!!

So, today in art (well, lunch duty)...Student 1: Sit here. Student 2: No, sit here. Student 3: No, sit here. Student 4: No, sit here.

So, today in art...Kisha James: Look at me. I am dancing. Students: What are you doing Mrs. James. James: I am trying to get on So, today in art!!!!

So, today in art...Student:  My new name is Jimmy. (5 mins. later)   My name is Javier. (Mind you, neither of these are his name.)

So, today in art...Student:  Mr. Smith, I know some bad words.  Me:  What bad words do you know?  Student:  Damn it!  Me:  Whoa!  Don’t say that.  You will get in trouble.  Student:  Okay.  Me:  What was that again?  Student:  Damn it.  Me:  Didn’t I tell you not to say that anymore.  That was a test.

So, today in art....FULL MOON!!!!

So, today in art (while playing Mariah Carey Christmas)…Student:  Singing (All I want for Christmas is youuuuu…..youuuuu!)   Me:  Mariah Carey, more like Mariah Scary.   You guys are killing this song.  Student:  Bhahhahahahahhahahaha…lol.   I see what you did there Mr. Smith.  You’re funny.

So, today in art...Student 1:  Miss Smith?  Student 2:  Its Mr. Smith.  If it was Miss Smith he would look like a woman.  Student 1:  Well, he is pretty.  Student 2:  No he is handsome...right Mr. Smith?  Me: I've been called worse, so pretty is okay

So, today in art…Student 1:  Mr. Smith said share.  Student 2: Yeah, listen to the man.

So, today in art (well, last night at Food Lion) Young gentleman:  Are you Mr. Smith?  Me:  Yes sir I am.  Young:  You probably don't remember me, I graduated in 2008 but you were my art teacher at M.H. elementary.  Me:  Cool.  Him:  I remember we had to draw our self-portraits and I put a mustache and goatee on mine.  And you said "Do you have a goatee or a mustache....then erase that.  Both of us:  Bhahahahahha.  Him:  You were a good teacher.  Me:  From what I hear, I still am.

So, today in art (well car duty)....Student's mom:  I love you.  Have a good day.  Me:  I love you too.  Both of us:  Bhahahahahahaha.   Student's mom:  I do love you Mr. Smith for taking care of my child.

So, today in art...Student: Mr. Smith...your shoes are funny.  

Me:  Dude, my shoes are funny?!?!?!  Your shoes are on the wrong feet!

So, today in art...Student:  Mr. Smith?  Give me a hug.  Me:  Ok.  Student:  Mr. Smith...don't mess up my pretty hair.  Me:  My bad!

New artwork at Chop Stixx.  Make sure you stop by and let them know how much you love the kids' artwork.

So, the other day in art....Student 1:  Do you go to church?  Student 2:  No.  Student 1:  Why not?  Student 2:  My parents really don't go.  Student 1:  Are you a Jew!!!!  Me:  Hold up.  #1.  It is not any of your business if she goes to church.  #2 I don't like the way said Jew...it was kind of Hitlerish.  And #C Why do you think Jewish people do not go to church.  Student 1:  I don't know.  Me:  Well, Jews go to church.  It is called a synagogue.  Student 1:  Well I don't know anything about the Jews.  Me:  Yes you do.  Almost everyone in the Bible is Jewish.  Student 1:  No.  Me:  Yes.  Abraham, Sarah, Samuel, David of David and Goliath....all Jews.  Student 1:  No.  Me:  Yes.  Jesus.  Student 1: No.  Me:  Yes.  All 12 disciples.  Student 1:  I get it...I get.  Me:  You should definitely should talk to your parents about this when you get home.

So, today in art....Student:  Mr. Smith?  When I was a baby (mind you he is in kindergarten) I was in the army and I had a knife and I cut off the bad man's leg and stuck it in him.  It was funny.

  

                                   Side Note:  Please monitor what your kids are watching!

So, today in art...Me:  What is it with 9 year old boys and farts?!?!?!?!?!?!

So, today in art (after reading about Mary Shelly)  Me:  What kind of monster would you make if you could?  A Fart monster.  No....A fart ghost.  That way he can go around farting and no one would no who it was.  All they would hear was farts and laughing.  

So, today in art....Me:  If you could make a restaurant what would you name it and what would you sale?   Student:  Fart Tarts!  I would have a bunch of toasters and when your pop tart was done instead of a buzzing sound it would be a farting sound.  Me:  That idea stinks...literally.  Student:  It would not stink...it would just be the sounds, not the smells.

So, today in art....Student:  Mr. Smith? I got some balls in my pocket. Would you like to see them?  Me:  No!

So, today in art...The students are studying the history and traditions of Hanukkuh.
The 2nd graders used symmetry to create menorahs.

The Kindergartners learned and created a dreidel.

So, today in art…Student:  My mom will not let me use scissors at home.  Me:  Why?  Student:  Cause the last time I got mad at my shirting I cut hole in her shirt,  when I got mad at my mom I cut holes in her mattress, and when I got mad at my dad I cut a piece of my hair off, gave it to my him, and told him “See what you made me do?”   Me:  Bhahahhahahahahahahaahah…..heheheheheheheheh….ehehhheheheh.   he…he…he…haahhahahahahah…he..he..heeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

So, today in art…Student:  Mr. Smith?  My aunt calls me junk in the trunk and so I called her baldy….cause she worries so much she is going bald.   Me:  What?!?!?!!?  That’s mean…funny, but mean.

So, today in art…Me:  How did you get glitter all over yourself, but have not made it to the glitter table yet?  (And yes, I have a glitter table.)

So, today in art…Me:  Get our hands out of the paint.  You guys act as if you have never seen paint before yah hillbillies.

So, today in art…Student 1:  Mr. Smith….you’re an artist.  Student 2: Duh!!!!  Students 3-24:  Yeah Duhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey guys. Check out my student's art work on display at ChopStixx. And thank you to the management that let me display their artwork. When you go by tell them you love the work and can not wait to see more.

That's right!!!  I am the best are teacher!!!